I was thinking this morning , when I was a teenager I could write all my feelings out. I wrote poetry, I did awesome assignments in school, I kept a diary. Now , it's like I have a huge block in my mind. Where did it come from and when did it get there? I have so much I would like to write on here but yet I can't get it out. I don't know how to word things. I guess I've gotten older and I think everything should be in a certain order. I guess I feel like if I just started typing what I'm thinking it would like like some crazy woman rambling on about next to nothing.
My oldest daughter will be graduating at the end of this month. That has gotten me to thinking about how old I am. Now I know I'm not really all that old, soon to be 37 in July, but when you look back at 19 years of bringing her up it went by soooo quickly it's insane. But I remeber all the endless seeming days , the long weeks between paychecks that I thought would never get here. It was all just a drop in the bucket. Now she is going to be a mother herself in October. Will her days and weeks and mothes seem to creep by as they did for me. Will she be a good mom. Did everything I ever taught her sink in. Will I be a good grandma. I think so , I plan on spoiling the little one and then sending him/her home lol Candy? Sure! Stay up late? Of course!! lol

Well, I have a few more hours of peace and quiet whoohoo everyone is either at work or at school. The 2 little ones went of to preschool this morning and I have gotten nothing accomplished yet but sit here reading blogs.
Ohh well, I'm allowed to have a bit of me time other then at midnight when everyone is finally asleep.

Well, I will be back at nap time to ramble some more Im sure you will all just be on the edge of your seats waiting

In prison you get three square meals a day.

At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it.

In prison you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and mingle.

At home you get to clean the yard up so you can mow it so your kids can spread more toys all over it so that you can go out and clean it again because little Jr. can't sleep without his latest lego creation.

In prison you get to watch TV, cable even.

At home you get to listen to your children fight over the remote control and get treated to hours and hours of mindless cartoons thanks to cable.

In prison you can read whatever you want and attend college for free.

At home you get to read weekly readers starring Dick, Jane, and Spot and worry about how to send Jr. to college and still be able to eat for the next twenty years.

In prison all your medical care is free.

At home you have to pawn your mother's silver and fill out trillions of papers for insurance and hope the doctor will see you before you die.

In prison, if you have visitors, all you do is go to a room, sit, talk and then say good-bye when you are ready or your time is up.

At home you get to clean for days in advance and then cook and clean up after your guests and hope that they will one day leave.

In prison you can spend your free time writing letters or just hang out in your own space all day.

At home you get to clean your space and everyone else's space, too, and what the heck is free time again?

In prison you get your own personal toilet.

At home you have to physically hold the bathroom door shut in order to keep from having someone standing over you demanding to know how long till you're done so you can do something for them.

In prison the prison laundry takes care of all your dirty clothes.

At home you get to take care of them yourself, plus everybody else's, and get yelled at because somebody's favorite shirt isn't clean.

In prison they take you everywhere you need to go.

At home you take everybody else where they need to go.

In prison the guards transport all your personal effects for you and make sure nothing is missing.

At home you have to lug around everybody else's stuff in your purse and then wonder who went in it and took your last dollar.

In prison there are no screaming or whining children or spouses asking you to do something else for them, or screaming at you because you didn't.

At home....stop me when I get to the downside of jail, will ya?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's the start of another week and I have been catching up on reading all the blogs I have missed for the past few days. There just isn't ever enough time in the day.
This weekend was fairly a busy one, as usual. Did get to have some alone time with hubby though Saturday night. Doesn't happen often but we really needed it. I told my daughter if I took her shopping Friday night, which I am to the point I can't stand shopping....yes you heard right, a woman who doesn't like shopping lol, but if I took her she was watching the little ones Saturday night for us. It wasn't a big night out on the town or anything. Very far from any town actually. We own 10 acres of nothing but woods, we go camping there in the summer and hope to build a home there one day. Well, with all that has been going on with my mother we haven't had the chance to go down and check on things so off we went. I love it there, no traffic noises, no kids, no nothing but silence, other then the birds of course. Only way someone can get in and to the backside of the property is in a 4 wheel drive , it's my little slice of heaven on earth. We had a great time there, had some fun doing something we haven't done in about 15 years. All I can say is I'm glad I have a SUV with fold down back seats
Then off we went to his friends camping/hunting spot about 10 minutes down the road from ours. We sat around the fire for a few hours just talking and laughing and having a good time. I ate wild mushrooms for the first time. I love mushrooms but unless they come from the produce section at Kroger's I have never ate them. They had went out earlier that day hunting mushrooms and had them all cleaned up and dipped in some flour then fryed them over the campfire. It was great! The stars that were out were an awesome addition to the whole night. It was definately what I needed to get rid of some stress and forget about things for a bit. I know it may not sound exciting to some but for a simple girl like me it was my best night out in awhile!!!
Now it's back to the same old weekly grind. The young ones are fighting already, my 17 yr old is having a fit because I told her she could walk to work, mind you it's about a 4 minute walk. The housework needs started, the laundry in the laundry pile is multiplying before my very eyes. Hope everyone has a great day!!!

Wow! I can't believe it's Thursday already. This week has went by really fast. I got a phone call yesterday from the attorneys office. They called to say we have a paper you need to come in and sign from the judge. I asked what it was for and they said the judge has decided there will be no hearing for my mother's guardianship, that there will be no investigator going in to talk to her. It's all over and you are being appointed her guardian. I was speechless. The attorney's secretary thought it was strange, the attorney even finds it a bit weird. Why no hearing? I went in and signed the paper and as of now I should be her guardian. This is such a big relief to me. I believe that along with my prayers being heard so were others that have been praying for me. This is one more hurdle cleared. Next will be somehow telling her and my prayers continue to help me deal with this part. To let her see it is really what is best for her. That even though she treated me horrendously growing up, I am stepping up to make sure she doesn't go home to "kill" herself. That she will be taken care of and have some sort of quality to her life left on this earth. When I left the attorney's office yesterday I had tears of sweet relief in my eyes. Another stone of stress was lifted off of me. Little by little the weight is being taken away. I will get through all of this, I am a strong person when I reach deep inside of me.

It looks like we are in for some rain today. Looks yucky and bleak outside here right now. My morning has started off with a bang already. Nothing like a phone call from the school to start things off. Apparently my son has taken to being disrespectful to teachers at school :( Just had one call on this the other day and he recieved a Saturday school for it. Just got his progress report and find out he's failing half of his classes. The boy will never be ungrounded. But I don't think he cares. Then add to it he was caught smoking in the woods by school. WTF! I'd like to beat the living crap out of him. Now I know he smokes, and I should have went with my first plan that I always said I would do if my kids decided to take up the nasty habit, make them eat a pack of them. But would someone consider that cruel and unusual punishment ??? Not sure and I don't feel like adding cleaning up puke to my to do list.

He will be getting in school suspension for 2 days and he will have to go twice to a special school for trouble making kids to learn why somking isn't good for you. Do I think it will help? NOt really. Do I think a good A@@ beating would help, possibly. He's already grounded from going anywhere, next now is no computer and no phone.
I'm afraid his Dad is going to go off on him when he finds out about it. my hubby is usually a calm guy, it takes a lot to get him mad, but I'm afraid this will be it for the simple fact of my son's attitude. When he asks him what his problem is and my son will give his favorite answer of "I don't know" that is highly unacceptable. Then they will yell at each other and hubby will lose his temper. He hates nothing more then one of our kids being disrepectful to him and this could turn into something bad with me in the middle. I have enough damn stress I don't need more right now. Pondered the thought of not telling him about it, but it has to be done. My son has made his bed now he will lay in it.