There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant preppy son around his factory. Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer. They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought, "This should impress him!" He showed his son a machine and said "Son, this is the heart of the factory. With this machine here we can put in a pig, and out come sausages.

The prudish son, unimpressed, said "Yes, but do you have a machine where you can put in a sausage and out comes a pig?"

The father, furious, thought and said, "Yes son, we call it your mother."

So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust!

Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself!

I clean house every other day. Today is the other day.

If you write in the dust, please don't date it!

I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!

A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life.

My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!

I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

If you don't like my standards of cooking ...lower your standards.

Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, converse.

It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse.

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.

My next house will have no kitchen ... just vending machines.

I'd live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.

Mother does not live here any more, clean up your own mess.

Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!

Memorial Day is coming up and I was asked to post about my brother and going to his grave as a child. Well, there isn't much to tell as I never knew my brother. My mom and dad adopted me in July of 1969 at the age of 34 as they had not been able to have any children of their own up untill that point.

Well lo and behold after they got me my mother had become pregnant and had a baby boy in May of 1970 at almost 3 months premature. He was premature due to her drinking that she had started not too long before they got me. Well he lived for 3 days and then passed on.

Ever since I can remember my mother would go to his grave on Memorial Day. No other day then that. She would take a bunch of those plastic fake flowers to put in the vase on his gravesite as the graveyard doesn't allow real flowers. She would then take pictures and cry a little and then we would get back in the car and leave.

I always hated going there. I always felt so uncomfortable and like I was so out of place being there visiting someone I had never even known. I felt like an outsider. And I always knew the rest of that day would be spent avoiding my mother at all costs because the drinking and the physical and mental abuse would be especially bad that day. I never saw my Dad go there and still to this day wonder if he ever did in private.

As I got older into my teens eventually I wasn't "made" to go anymore and I think in the past 20 years I have only been to his grave site once or twice. I do however, and not so much anymore, talk to my brother in my prayers. I did it a lot more when I was younger telling him he was lucky that he didn't have to be subject to the things I was with our mother. That I'm glad he never had to be on the end of her anger like I so often was. I do wish I would have gotten the chance to have known him and had the chance to have a sibling to grow up with.

Well every Memorial Day brings these memories back, wanted or not. And this Memorial Day I will send up a prayer to him that some day we shall meet and how torn I was between having a brother there to share with as well as glad he wasn't there to take the abuse that I had to. Love you Alan.

Well I was hoping to post the ultrasound picture with this yesterday but my daughter comes and goes so quick that I didn't get a chance to get it from her ...... but, It's a BOY!!! And from the picture there is no doubt about it lol .

Gotta run will post something more later!!

If you have been to Whit's Whittlings blog today then you have read his packrat post..... these are just a few pictures of my mother's house and what I have been having to clean up. The pictures do it no justice though, unless you see it in person you really cant comprehend how bad it was and is.

This is a peek into her kitchen-


This one is the den-

This is the first dumpster and there was a second but I haven't filled it completely yet, still working on the house-