Glittery texts by bigoo.ws

            

Glittery texts by bigoo.ws

lol Decided to wish myself a happy birthday today , Yay I made it another year Will be leaving to go on vacation tomorrow so I will see you all when I get back and catch up on all the great blogs I will miss cause no computer :( Hope you all stay safe and well and will see you in a few days!!

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to
the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like
to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you
need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacists
eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you
cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my
license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things
will
happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her
husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at
the
picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me
you had a prescription.!

Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said,
"I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think
there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!"

"Just put yourself in my hands for 1 year," said the
shrink. "Come talk to me 3 times a week and we
should be able to get rid of those fears."

"How much do you charge?"

"$80 per visit," replied the doctor.

"I'll sleep on it," said Jerry.

Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street.
"Why didn't you ever come to see about those fears
you were having?" asked the psychiatrist.

"Well 80 bucks a visit 3 times a week for a year is
an awful lot of money!
A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have
saved all that money I went and bought me a new pickup!"

"Is that so! And how, may I ask, did a bartender
cure you?"

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed!
Ain't nobody under there now!

Well, I haven't posted anything much lately other then some jokes. I just haven't felt like sitting down and typing out anything much that has to do with hard, harsh reality. I went last week and cleaned out my mother's apt. Still have her house to finish yet but I will get to that eventually. She is still in the nursing home where she will be sadly for the rest of her life. She has been stressing me this past week because her birthday is coming up next week and she is all worried about her drivers license expiring. The woman cant even get out of bed to walk right now, she was but stopped physical therapy and has backslid severely. She is now in therapy again but so far not much progress.

I had to finally make up a lie to her that the state will recognize her being in a facility like that and not to worry about her license right now. The social worker said it was the best thing to do and not to feel guilty for making these things up right now.

So now that's behind me for the time being. I went today and paid the last months worth of rent and gave the apartment complex our letter with intent to vacate the premisis by August 1st. So now I need to go and load up everything I packed and take it to storage for now.

The kid's are driving me nuts bickering back and forth constantly. Yay for summer break ....



We are taking them on a little mini vacation next week for a few days and I'm hoping the fighting can stop for those few days or hubby can stay at the cottage with them and I'm coming back home to stay with the dogs for my vacation.

Well, I vented a little thanx for listening

Hope you all have a great weekend!!!!

A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter.

One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter".

The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter." The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.

A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now."

The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand."