Iowa

• A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.

• Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants in Marshalltown, Iowa.

• In Dubuque any hotel in the city limits must have a water bucket and a hitching post in front of the building.

• In Fort Madison the fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire.

• In Ottumwa, Iowa, "It is unlawful for any male person, within the corporate limits of the (city), to wink at any female person with whom he is unaquainted."

• Indianola: The "Ice Cream Man" and his truck are banned.

• It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp.

• Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.

• One-armed piano players must perform for free.

• Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you -- or holding you in his arms.

Washington

•"It shall be unlawful for a candidate for office or for nomination thereto whose name appears upon the ballot at any election to give to or purchase for another person, not a member of his or her family, any liquor in or upon any premises licensed by the state for the sale of any such liquor by the drink during the hours that the polls are open on the day of such election."

• A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town."

• All lollipops are banned.

• All motor vehicles must be preceded by a man carrying a red flag (daytime) or a red lantern (nighttime) fifty feet in front of said vehicle.

• Bremerton: You may not shuck peanuts on the street.

• Everett: It is illegal to display a hypnotized or allegedly hypnotized person in a store window.

• In Seattle, Washington, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length.

• In the state of Washington, there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances.

• It is illegal to deflower a virgin even on their wedding day.

• It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag.

• It is illegal to pretend that one's parents are rich.

• It's illegal in Wilbur, Washington, to ride an ugly horse.

• Lynden: Dancing and drinking may not occur at the same establishment.

• People may not buy a mattress on Sunday.

-Women who sit on men's laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow between them face an automatic six-month jail term. No one may set fire to another person's property without prior permission.

It is illegal to carry a fishbowl or aquarium onto a bus • because the sound of the water sloshing may disturb other passengers.

• Spokane: TV's may not be bought on Sundays.

• Waldron Island: No structure shall contain more than two toilets that use potable water for flushing.

• When two trains come to a crossing, neither shall go until the other has passed.

I swear some of these are sooo insane, I couldn't imagine passing some of these laws with a straight face. We sure have come a long way huh!

All I can say is , were the lawmakers on drugs ??!!!!!!

Ohio

• A policeman may bite a dog to quiet him.

• Bay Village: It is illegal to walk a cow down Lake Road.
(Where the heck am I supposed to walk him then ???)

• Bexley: The installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses is prohibited.
(So what am I supposed to do in there to pass the time ??)

• Breast feeding is not allowed in public.

• Cars are not allowed to scare horses in Centerville, Ohio.
(But perfectly alright to scare the young and old folk)

• Cincinnati: Anal intercourse is banned.
(Damn!)

• Cleveland: It's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license! (Quick Pa, flush those mice!!)

• Clinton County: Any person who leans against a public building will be subject to fines.

• Columbus: It is illegal for stores to sell corn flakes on Sunday. (I guess I wasn't hungry anyways)

• Fairview Park: It's against the law to honk your horn "excessively". A grandmother was fined for honking her horn twice at her neighbor.
(But what if they're walking their cow???)

• In Marysville, Ohio it is illegal for a dog to urinate on a parking meter.

• In ohio it is illegal to ride on the roof of a taxi cab.
(And what's the fun in that law ???)

• In ohio it is illegal to run out of gas.
(O.K, we won't discuss how many time I have broke this law lol )

• In Ohio women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, lest men see reflections of their underwear.
(What underwear???)

• In Oxford, Ohio, it's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.
(What about a women's picture? lmao)

• Ironton: Cross-dressing is against the law.

• It is against the law to roller skate without notifying the police.

• It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.

• It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
(Well dang it, looks like we're going on Saturday instead!)

• It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
(Did someone actually do this ?????)

• It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance.

• It is legal to throw a snake at someone but it is illegal to shake a snake at someone.
(ummmmm uhhhhhhh ohhh crap lmaorofl)

• Lima: Any map that does not have Lima clearly stated on the map cannot be sold.

• Lowell: It is unlawful to run a horse over five miles per hour.

• Marion: You cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street.
(But I can't do it forward , I might fall)

• McDonald: Your goose may not paraded down Main Street.

• No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July.
( Yessssss, walking the goose on those days!!!)

• Owners of tigers must notify authorities within one hour if the tiger escapes.

• Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited.

It has been determined, the most used sexual

Position for married couples is a doggie position.

The husband sits up and begs.

The wife rolls over and plays dead

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, fishing, always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

"When you finish cutting the grass," I said, "you might as well sweep the sidewalk."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is always a husband.

Once there was a little boy who lived in the country. For bathroom facilities, they had to use an outhouse. The little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter, and it stank all the time.

The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek, and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the water.

One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided that today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. So he got a large stick and pushed. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away

That evening his dad sternly told him to sit down. Knowing he was in trouble, the little boy asked why. The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it, son?"

The boy nodded meekly. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."

The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in that cherry tree!"